The HippopotamusBy: Stephen Fry Ted Wallace is a sour, old, cantankerous beast, a womanising and whisky sodden bounder of a failed poet and drama critic, but he has his faults too. Fired from his newspaper, months behind on his alimony payments and disgusted with a world that undervalues him, Ted seeks a few months' repose and free drink at Swafford Hall, the country mansion of his old friend Lord Logan. But strange things have been going on at Swafford. Miracles.